“Not-There-Yet Was”

Life
a thousand poems a second
the number may be off
light joining & creating
points oft too many return

Spirals on the inside
in & out of control
spirals on the outside
out & in of my soul

Soul
separate from the mind & body
never created or destroyed
lives on forever
like a child’s favorite toy

Love
ebbing up from all too still lightless deep
something that is not to keep
To hold, but not to have
always here
in some form or another
please don’t wheep, weep

Tears
for yourself or the others
for your sisters & your brothers
or some intangible thing
more of these does not closeness bring

Cats
meowing in the darkness
howling in the light
mewling for affection
hissing at fright

Limbic System
should I stay or should I go?
one more clash
thunders crashed
& lightning glowed

Electricity
nervous nervous system
connecting my thoughts
in fragmented plane
piece it together
as together as rain

Water
uncorrupted I can finally see
if you are here you are meant to be

Sun Ra
the beast, the beist
to not the beast
is the answer

Question
quest
illus
ion
break it down now
bow wow chikka chikka bow bow

Friends
keep me alive
keep me aware
keep me from finding out
I’m not there
keep me from keepin’ me stuck in a place
meet them there and enjoy the race
the marathon of life
in which nobody wins
all jogged out
managed to gain some new sins
put the old ones down
until they came up again
were they sins or just life lessons?
now what is a sin?
something that does harm?
breathe the fire, set the alarms
little switches
in my involuntary and more importantly voluntary self

What is self?
on a physical level, does it include the guts?
of course it does you poetic putz
it was just a mirror
& we got uglier everyday
but then one night
I went to bed
I hit the hay
I then woke up
& was convinced everything was okay

It was more than that
it was a beautiful dream
marred by nightmares
& the obscene
the obtuse scene
the abstruse scene
obnormal
abnormal
have you seen the scene?

I think I heard somebody tuning up my inner symphony
[I think I heard it was a man in a penguin jacket
I think he was white
so I was filled with fright
You just can’t trust those white people]
omit

Trust
trust it all and you won’t be believed
trust that everything is unbelievable

Love
we are back here again
it must mean something
the average sum of the thing
mean, median, and end

I think I just felt the flap of an angel’s wing
dust came off
it must be Spring

There is music in the words
a science to the beat
one two three four five six eight

A violin played my spine
but never made it to my neck
a guillotine took it’s place
now I’m less than a speck

I’m just a dot
on this pointilist plane
every dot has been replaced with a different color
at one time or another
yet it’s basically the same
the same pain thing
I mean
painting

How many atoms in one quark?
How many atoms in one bark?

Adam’s Eve was a bombshell
Atom’s eve will or would leave a bombshell
Will, would
free would
chopping blocks
for invisible clocks

Stay here
stay now
now’s gone
left with then
right with there
there was now
there was then
there was also where
not-there-yet was

*this poem was heavily inspired by Herman Poole Blount aka Le Sony’r Ra aka Sun Ra 💗 🪐 🎶